I just heard this quote from the movie Honey Boy “You know, a seed has to totally destroy itself to become a flower. That’s a violent act, honey boy.”
The last 4 years have been really tough for a lot of people and, conversely, celebratory for others. All of the division, tribalization, anger and tension escalated as we collectively dealt with a pandemic and then a bitterly contested election then came to a head with a violent attack on the US capital.
What comes to mind as I say this is that there’s a large number of people who would disagree with my characterization of what happened or dig into whataboutisms regarding Black Lives Matter Protests earlier in 2020. I won’t get into the weeds right now but let’s agree that this last year was difficult. Difficult enough that 2020 as a year has become a meme more than a time frame.
However, transformation usually requires destruction. Earlier in 2020 I was saying that it was the year of the Tower. A time when structures we thought were invincible came tumbling down, revealing the ugly, dirty sides of how such a tower is built and throwing the mighty to the ground as much as the weak.
The Tower is necessary to create space for something new.
Now is a time to reflect on what our society was (and still is) built on and try to build a new, better, more inclusive and more beautiful society to take its place. Look at the rotten wood that became the framework of our reality and tear it out. Look at how we allowed our beliefs and structures to become infested with moral termites and ants.
I’m reminded of when I lived in a place infested with an invasive species of ant that we just could not get a handle on. No matter what we did, they just kept coming back. This species of ant is cooperative, meaning new ant hills will work together rather than fighting with their progenitor hills. It’s an amazing adaption and incredibly effective.
One day we were given a type of chalk that was actually outlawed decades previous because it looks like sidewalk chalk and toddlers were putting it in their mouths. Seems to me like the issue had less to do with the product than … anyway, it worked. We applied it, kept the cats in a bedroom and left to go run errands and such and when we came home at the end of the day the ants were gone.
Interestingly enough, a few days later our house was covered in dead termites as well. It turns out the ants like to eat termite eggs, it’s one of their favorite food. All houses in that area have at least some termites, so when the ants disappeared the termites blossomed and when they came out, they also ate the chalk and spread it to each other and had a mass die-off. All over our kitchen.
The building we lived in was our home, our refuge to escape the world to feel comfortable and safe. The ants were like the outside world getting in and literally “bugging us” forcing us to attend to them whether we wanted to or not. Our solution was destructive, potentially dangerous and had unintended consequences.
In the end, it worked out for the best. We had to go through the worst of it to get to the best.
What’s that phrase? The fastest route out of hell is through? That’s 2020. We needed the nasty, worst parts of our society to come forward like pus rising to the surface of an infection. We needed to see it in ways that were impossible to ignore. We needed it to hurt and burst and to spread so that we would take it seriously.
Looking back on 2020, I’m actually hopeful. I’m hoping that we can come together to clean the wreckage, reflect on what happened and move forward together.
I’m also aware that there will be hang-ups. One big one is that “together” won’t include everyone. Some people will insist on clinging to violence and disruption and hate. The good news is that we win against that. We have in the past and we will this time. Battles are sometimes quick and sometimes hard-fought.
My cup is half-full and I’m aware the glass is dirty and chipped. It’s time for a new cup.